I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: A Look Back.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is best known as an Hollywood heavyweight. However, during the peak of his blockbuster fame in the eighties and nineties, he also starred in several genuinely hilarious comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its three-and-a-half decade milestone this December.

The Role and That Line

In the classic film, Schwarzenegger embodies a undercover cop who masquerades as a elementary educator to track down a criminal. Throughout the story, the crime storyline acts as a basic structure for Schwarzenegger to film humorous interactions with kids. Arguably the most famous features a child named Joseph, who spontaneously stands up and states the actor, “Males have a penis, girls have a vagina.” The Terminator replies icily, “I appreciate the insight.”

The young actor was played by former young actor Miko Hughes. Beyond this role encompassed a recurring role on Full House playing the antagonist to the Olsen twins and the haunting part of the resurrected boy in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with multiple films on the horizon. Additionally, he engages with fans at popular culture events. He recently shared his recollections from the set of Kindergarten Cop 35 years later.

A Young Actor's Perspective

Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?

Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.

That's impressive, I can't remember being four. Do you have any memories from that time?

Yeah, somewhat. They're flashes. They're like visual recollections.

Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?

My parents, primarily my mom would bring me to auditions. Often it was a mass tryout. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all just have to wait, be seen, be in there less than five minutes, do whatever little line they wanted and that was it. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, when I became literate, that was the initial content I was reading.

Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?

He was incredibly nice. He was fun. He was good-natured, which I suppose stands to reason. It'd be weird if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that probably wouldn't make for a positive atmosphere. He was a joy to have on set.

“It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom.”

I was aware he was a huge celebrity because that's what my parents told me, but I had never really seen his movies. I felt the importance — like, that's cool — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was merely entertaining and I just wanted to play with him when he wasn't busy. He was occupied, of course, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd tense up and we'd be holding on. He was exceptionally kind. He bought every kid in the classroom a personal stereo, which at the time was a major status symbol. That was the hottest tech out there, that funky old yellow cassette player. I used to rock out to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It eventually broke. I also received a real silver whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all were gifted copies as well.

Do you remember your time filming as being fun?

You know, it's funny, that movie is such a landmark. It was a major production, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, seeing the set, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. Like, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was just released. That was the hot thing, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the other children would bring me their Game Boys to get past hard parts on games because I was able to, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all little kid memories.

That Famous Quote

OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember anything about it? Did you understand the words?

At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word provocative meant, but I realized it got a reaction and it caused the crew to chuckle. I knew it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given approval in this case because it was funny.

“My mom thought hard about it.”

How it came about, according to family lore, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. A few scenes were established early on, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they worked on it while filming and, I suppose it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to deliver this dialogue. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't answer immediately. She said, "I need to consider this, let me sleep on it" and took some time. She really wrestled with it. She said she had doubts, but she thought it could end up as one of the iconic quotes from the movie and she was right.